If You're Scared, Say You're Scared!

A good friend of mine used to say this a lot.  The point of it is to acknowledge that you are scared and do it anyway!   Sometimes just acknowledging out loud that you're scared is enough to help you move through it.  I find that one of the biggest fears people have is about ending up, wait for it, ALONE! (GASP!!!)  I have two things to say about that.  One is I highly doubt that will happen and the other and most important one is, SO WHAT.  You are never going to be happy in any relationship if you can't be happy alone.  No one can MAKE you happy.  Really.  Too many times I hear "but they made me so happy", no you made yourself happy, they just happened to be a part of it. Learn to love being alone.  It can be really scary the first time you actually have to be totally alone with yourself, but it can also be one of the most freeing things you can do. You CAN find your happy.  I was talking to a friend the other day about this exact thing and we both went back to our first memory of being happy.  Hers was the smell of clean sheets. Mine was spending hours one day by myself with a litter of 8 week old puppies.  Pretty simple things but just remembering them made us both happy.  I am in no way saying that learning to be alone is simple or easy, but for a minute I was happy.  Minutes become hours, hours become days and days become months.  So the first step for you is to remember the first time you were happy doing something alone and do that thing again. Keep finding things that you remember made you happy. You can do this!  If a relationship happens (and I am sure one will if that is what you choose) then that is just an added benefit. But the best thing is that if it doesn't work out or you, heaven forbid, choose be alone,  you will be perfectly fine because you figured out that alone and happy can absolutely go together!