Imagine – you are sitting at home curled up with a glass of wine watching your favorite mindless TV show trying to relax. The phone rings, and you hear an unfamiliar voice.
“I am with him now…stay away from him!” What???
Yes, this happened after my relationship broke up. It was a hard time, but it was also a long time coming and was really sad but I knew it was for the best. We were going to remain friendly since we had a child together. When you have that person that you both have to care for, it’s hard not to talk to them in some fashion. Then his new girl calls with this lovely message. Really?
Honey, listen – I am not with him anymore. You can have him! Yes, in the beginning, he is all flowers, nice restaurants, and surprises. You can also have the rest that comes after - his tall tales, excuses, “late nights at the office” and those sudden business trips that, up until now, he hasn’t been asked to take in the 10 years he has worked for the company.
You know that when someone calls like this, they know. They know that there is a possibility what happened to you can happen to them – they just have their blinders on. But this is what drives the insecurity they feel to pick up that phone.
What do you do? Well, depending on the situation and tone, you can do a number of things. You can put it out there and let them deal. You can hang up – that’s always a fun one. (PS – if you do this one, be prepared to potentially have to change your number if they decide to start calling over and over). You can have this argument that you may or may not have been having hypothetically in your head for weeks, months, etc. You can just ignore it and screen your calls. One thing I would do is let your ex know this is unacceptable. If they are a part of the problem, cut off all ties until the issue goes away. They need to know you are seriously not going to entertain this.
If you do decide to entertain this behavior, do not be surprised if it spirals. You must be careful not to feed the situation negatively or you may be looking into a restraining order eventually.
Whatever you do, be you. And know deep down, you came out of this a better person. You are ok.
Tell me - Has this ever happened to you? Share below!