You would think in the day of social media, it would be easy to communicate, right? Well, that is not really the case. You see, people don’t often have actual conversations anymore. I don’t care how many emoji’s you use – it’s not a real conversation.
Texting is a favorite way to talk about anything. But texting is dangerous. How many times have you read a text one way, and it was meant a completely different way? Emails are the same thing. Written text is subject to interpretation. So, you can think everything is going well, and in reality he’s blowing you off. Or, he can be absolutely fine, but you are crying into a Ben and Jerry’s pint because you think he is blowing you off.
To make the strongest connection, get on the phone and get real. Ask them questions. Learn their communication style. Communication is such an important part of a relationship, and it’s the part that once it goes, the relationship is not far behind.
Trust me – I am not saying it’s going to be easy. As a matter of fact, a lot of people I talk to complain that it’s one of the hardest things to do in their relationship.
You see, Women and Men have very different communication styles. There was an episode of Modern Family where Clare wanted to vent about some of the things going on in her life, and Phil immediately tried to fix them for her. That’s the dynamic I hear about most of the time. Women want to vent – men want to be the hero and fix. Once Phil got a lesson in women from the ladies at the spa, he understood his wife a little more and just listened.
Sometimes we have to not only communicate how we want to be communicated with, but ask how they want to communicate as well. Maybe he doesn’t want to talk about his day because he gets frustrated at work, and just wants to be home with you where he’s happy, not thinking about that place until the next day. Just because he doesn’t want to talk about it doesn’t mean he is pulling away.
The key here is to put down the phones, maybe even turn them off and take the landline off the hook for a while, turn off the tv, and just talk. Hold hands. Ask questions about how they talk, like to chat, what they like to talk about, and what are some things they just don’t want to think about when they are home. Once the conversation is started, you can share your thoughts on those things as well. It’s amazing what a little conversation can do sometimes. Talking doesn’t always have to be a heavy conversation, you can keep it light. Talk about things you would like to do together. Dream a little together. Talk about things you have done together and enjoyed. Laugh.