Just say NO!

Just say No!!

WHY are you still sleeping together?

I hear women say all the time that their ex, who was the one who decided he wanted out, is still sniffing around on occasion and…they are still falling for it and are continuing to sleep with him. Even though it’s been months since the breakup or divorce! When I ask why the most common answer is that they believe THIS time it’s because their ex has finally come to their senses and wants to come back. 

WRONG!

It's time to STOP!

Every time you give in you are giving him permission to treat you like crap.

I know what you're going to say. ”If I stop, then he'll get mad.”

So what?

We all get mad when someone takes our toys away.

He knows exactly how to play you to get whatever it is he wants.

He knows what buttons to push to get you to fall for it again and again…

●     He doesn’t want to lose his power and control over you

●     He still wants you as a fall back just in case things aren’t so great in his new life

●     He wants you still around for the "benefits” that you provide

He does not have YOUR best interests at heart. It is still all about HIM. He still wants to control you and your life whether consciously (which is really mean by the way) or subconsciously.

He's not answering your texts or phone calls for days on end then all of a sudden he starts texting you being nice, apologizing for not getting back to you because he was just so busy (really?), and wanting to come over to (insert excuse here). The next thing you know you're in bed together. And the pattern continues.

How many times do you have to have your hopes dashed AGAIN and feel like a used trash bag before you have had enough?

What are you thinking? Actually, I know what you're thinking. If you do everything he asks of you – let him come over, excuse his behavior, let him spend time with the family – that means he must want to come back.

When in truth, he wants to be able to keep you around for when he gets lonely, wants comfort, or is just horny and doesn’t have anyone else at the moment.

Just say NO!  It is as easy, and as hard, as that.

Tell him in no uncertain terms he is either in or he is out. If he is in, there is a list of things that he MUST DO before he gets full access.  If anything on that list is a no, then he is out.

Block him on all social media.

Tell your friends and family you no longer want to hear about him or what he is doing even if you ask.

This means NO contact. No, he can’t drop by and no he can’t text you about the good ole days or ask how you are doing. He doesn’t get to call when he’s had a bad day or is feeling lonely. If you have kids together then that is all it should be about.

No longer does he get the opportunity to keep you hanging. You don’t hear from him for days and when you do it’s horrible. Then all of a sudden, he starts being all nice so he can set you up yet again

He doesn’t have to come to the house to get the kids or to pick up something of his that he conveniently left there for just this purpose.  If you have to have someone at the house when he picks up or drops off, you go to the door and that is as far as he gets.  It is better if you have a public drop off place. Then ask someone else to do it for you or to go with you.

You need to be done poking your own eye with a sharp stick!

He knows that you still love him. By doing everything that he is doing he is showing you that he has no regard for your feelings whatsoever. If he did, the last thing he would be doing is playing you like he is. You have to quit equating sex with love. If he wanted to be with you, work it out with you or, at the very least, work it out with you even though he was living elsewhere - he would be doing just that with no strings attached!